Yesterday afternoon I put the kids down for a nap, made my lunch and started flipping through the channels (I had no Housewives of Beverly Hills or Vanderpump Rules on DVR to watch since I had watched both the day before) and stumbled upon Season 1 of Real Housewives of New York City on the Style Network. (Can you sense the giddiness I was feeling?) It was refreshing to watch season one, everyone looked so much more youthful and not so much of a Professional Reality Star. Nothing appeared staged, no fake arguments, no perfectly coiffed hair while playing tennis everything seemed a little more real. It was simply New Yorkers (I won't use the word socialites, not even loosely) living their lives for the camera, whether they truly were wealthy or attempting to keep up with the Zarins, they were on television as they appeared to be in real life. (I do believe that Silex were pretentious in real life in hopes to be in the in crowd.) Granted, they were hamming it up a bit to gain camera time, but nothing extravagant like Luann planning a one year anniversary party with her big schnoz Ross look-a-like boyfriend on a boat around the statue of liberty while performing a duet with Natalie Cole in season four. (Oh the irony, her ex-husband's great grandfather gave the statue of liberty to the United States. Just a random tidbit.)
Anyways, after conducting some highly sociological research, examining the lifestyles of middle aged New York City women (for the umpteenth time) trying to grasp on to their fifteen minutes of fame that we're all supposedly granted in life, I thought I'd share some observations with you...
Jill was just as obnoxious in season one as she was in season four! For some reason I remember thinking that I liked Jill, that she was the lovable one of the group. The mother figure who told it you straight, but no I was wrong. I, like many other Bravo fans, must have been seeing Jill through the haze of the New York City smog because she was the same middle aged woman who obviously was the unpopular girl in high school that always wanted to be head cheerleader and was still compensating for it in her adult life, that we saw in season four. In the episode I watched today she was upset that Ramona didn't invite her to some cooking party so she was on a rampage on why she wasn't invited and went to find solace with Luann where she bombarded her with a barrage of questions on why she wasn't invited and why Ramona lied about it. Hmm, no different than her falling out with Bethenny because according to Bethenny the reason for the falling it is because she didn't include Jill in all the opportunities she was receiving. Maybe if the fans had realized this early on it would have spared us four seasons of the fierce and ferocious red head.
Luann's make up was hideous! I hate speaking bad about people's physical appearance. Seriously, I'm not just trying to be politically correct but our world is built of unique people of different shapes, sizes, colors, languages and more. And I think Luann is beautiful, personality a bit over the top, but a very classy looking lady none the less. I love her hair, her dress style and her funky jewelry. She knows how to dress her age but also stay trendy. But, Lu! Who was doing your make-up in those interviews? The foundation is caked on like fondant on a wedding cake and the eyeliner is so dark she looks like Robin Sparkles gone goth...I mean Robin Daggers.
Bethenny recycles clothes! I have noticed this before and I love that Bethenny will still wear clothes today that she wore in season one. No, I'm not a Bethenny stalker, but I do like some of her attire and I noticed that the dress she wears to some fundraiser with her then Jason (not to be confused with her soon to be ex-husband, Jason) she wore a dress that I just saw her wearing in Us Weekly. Makes me feel better that I'm wearing a dress today that I purchased in 2008! Hell, I still have some clothes in my closet from college. But mine may have more of a vintage look while hers is couture. (Ok, so does vintage means worn out with holes?)
First Housewives Crossover! In this episode Ramona decides to take her daughter to Wilhemina Modeling Agency in order to help her daughter get into acting. Not modeling, people. She has too much talent, as Ramona made sure to proclaim to every homeless man that crossed her path which even included a typical Ramona foot-in-mouth moment. (I won't waste our time getting into that, it happens in every episode, no?) Well, the women she takes her daughter to see is Marlene Wallach, the same woman Teresa takes her daughter Gia to in Real Housewives of New Jersey. Coincidence? Or did Wilhemina pay some dough to Bravo for some face time? Is the agent trying to score a part in a Housewives franchise? Or maybe trying to get her own show a la Dance Moms called Wilhemina Moms? You be the judge. Whatever it was, apparently she didn't succeed. Unless maybe she has a show on Oxygen that I don't watch. I do have standards of what I watch, people.
Is Mario a Cheater? The Plot Thickens! Do you recall in season four when the crew went to Morocco and the palm reader told Ramona her husband was cheating on her? She vehemently denied it and claimed that Luann actually hit on her husband and outed Luann's open relationship with her ex-husband to take the heat off herself. Jill even claimed that many from their circle of friends have said he was cheating. So in season one when they were at a party in the Hamptons Mario was caught talking to some woman with no wedding band on. All the heat was put on the poor woman who was like a young child who was caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Her face was red, caught on camera and by the wife of the man she was hitting on. The woman wasn't aware Mario was married and told Ramona she should get her husband to wear a ring. Is this proof that he cheats? No, but now we all now how pathetic I am analyzing the relationship of a marriage in a five year old television show.
And so I wasted nap time by getting hooked to a television show that I've watched more than numerous times before when I could have been more productive. Oh well, at least I was rested for an afternoon of screaming, spaghetti flying, Minnie Mouse and Rapunzel getting into a battle over Minnie's bow in a doll house and topped off with pureed green beans landing in my hair. Thank God for Bravo always being there for me to make my life feel a little less tumultuous!