Sunday, February 17, 2013

Big Buns: I Just Don't Understand the Obsession

Kelly Ripa Voluminous Bun Hairstyle for Women Over 40

I'm not talking Jennifer Lopez and her mighty maximus, people, I'm talking about the large vat of hair (and sometimes faux hair) that gets clumped onto the head like the ratty nest of a bird in a state of vogue. What is with this fashion statement? I just don't understand it!

The Cosby Show Mrs. Westlake
Image - TinyPic - Free Image Hosting, Photo Sharing & Video HostingBuns have been awhile for quite some time and there are so many varieties of a bun. Historically, the look of a bun was stereotyped as someone scholastic or professional and sometimes coinciding with a teacher or a professor. Remember the Cosby show episode where Theo's teacher, Mrs. Westlake, came to have dinner with the family. He loved his teacher with her hair down, but when it was time to talk about his test grade the hair went up in a bun. You may also remember her, Sonia Braga's, stint as Samantha's girlfriend on Sex in the City. I do believe she bared the bun there as well, but this time atop the head. Buns also have been something worn to elegant affairs I've been ok with them, but what's with the recent rash of the huge, tight, monstrosities?. Where is the elegance? And what are you hiding under that thing?

The first ugly bun I saw was of the Kardashian variety. Big, tight and right on top like a bow atop a Christmas present. It was not pleasing to the eyes at the very least.


I wonder if Kim's attempt at a bun was simply to emulate the wife of her boyfriend's biffle in hopes of hanging with that A-list crew? Yes, Beyonce did, indeed, represent the bun. Granted, she did wear it a little better and channeled some Cleopatra, but still no good.

And Lauren Conrad, who rose from teen angst stardom in The Hills to Kohl's fashion designer and is a fan of all things Vogue sported the bouquet of hideousness. I was always a fan of her multitude of braids, but the hot cross bun isn't working for her. What happened to those braids, it was such a signature of hers towards the end of her reign on The Hills. Granted, it did go out of style. But girlfriend, get a new stylist.

LC bun

Even Jessica Alba went bunning! She has such a laid back style but knows how to step it up for award shows, but she crossed the line with this bun and since I could never look at her the same.

Why all this hub bub about buns, you  may be asking? Well it all started a couple of days ago when I saw a commercial for something called Hot Buns Hair. It is some type of contraption that helps you make the perfect bun. Wait a minute, I thought, buns are that  popular that now people are trying to capitalize on it's mainstream status by making them easier to produce? They're ugly, and the gadget you're selling is facilitating the ugliness for the masses! And then I started paying more attention to the popularity of the bun with celebrities and I was just disgusted!

Now, I'm not completely anti bun. If you are a ballet dancer then yes, a bun atop the head is appropriate. And yes, for those who know me, I do like to sport a low, loose bun to get my hair out of the way and so the kids won't yank on it. And there are plenty of celebrities that know how to wear an appropriate bun. 

Now Buffy knows how to sport a bun, keep it low and messy and it brings out a youthfulness. Tightly pulled with a bottle of grease makes it look  like you didn't have time for botox so you had to work with what you have.

I'm not a fan of Scarlett Johanssen, I think it's because of her character in He's Just not That Into You, she strings along sweet Kevin Connally (Or E as I'll always remember him from Entourage) character all the while having an affair with Bradley Cooper, a married man....where was I going with this? Oh yes, I do like her low, messy bun.

Scarlett Johansson Hairstyle

And a casual loose bun doesn't need to be reserved for high brow affairs! They can be worn on the regular, or so I say to justify my own bun wearing.

While Whitney Port's bun is a little on the high side, it's loose and worn casually, which I love.


So I think I've proven my point in photos, no? A tight knotted bun atop the head should be reserved for  Kardashians, the loose, messy bun is much more youthful and attractive. Do you want to be mistaken for someone emulating a Kardashian? 

Click below for a list of image sources.

Kelly Ripa
The Cosby Show

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