Thursday, April 25, 2013

Fanny Packs are Back? Really?

I think it's a sign that you're getting old when styles from your youth cycle back to the mainstream. I remember in high school when bell bottoms were in style and how cool I thought they were since I wasn't blessed with the bell bottom craze of the 70s. Or when chunky, cable knit sweaters were the rage in college and how my mom had sweaters from the 70s that I found to be so trendy. And then styles from the 80s started to come back in vogue as such as skinny jeans, floral prints, denim shirts and I started to question my love of fashion. And then what was probably the inevitable happened,  fanny packs were back (Insert annoyed sigh and eye roll here). Fanny packs were never really ok. They were a style of clothing worn by children in bright colors, and usually slung low and to the right or left of the navel in a state of alleged hip. I shutter at those memories.

Kids wearing fanny packs back in the late 80s and early 90s were just for fad purposes. It was the cool thing to do. I recall wearing them myself, I had quite the rainbow assortment of fanny packs that I had accrued, not sure from where and don't care to know where they are now. But if you were a kid, tween or teen of the 80s, you had one too, admit it.

Teri Hatcher 
While she's not a kid, tween or teen here, it is the 90s and Lois Lane is sporting the fanny.

A Cosby Show Extra 
And we all know that the Cosby Show exuded cool.

Even Barbie was rocking a fanny pack!     

And then wearing a fanny pack for fashion went into obscurity, it became quite the fashion faux pas to be caught sporting the contraption on your waist. Carrie Bradshaw tried to bring it back in 2004, but even in Gucci it didn't work.


Unless you were on vacation, you just didn't see the waist wallet and those who did adorn the belly with personal belongings while exploring the Sistine Chapel were still considered one of those people.

Granted, there is great utility to  the pack of fanny as you can keep your personal belongings in there and have your hands free. It really was perfect for travel as you could keep your traveler's checks and passport in there without someone snatching it off your shoulder or picking it out of your pocket.

But lets be honest, if you are a tourist with a fanny pack around your waist that says Six Flags and a camera strap around your neck with the words Nikon in bright yellow you're just asking to be targeted by some native man in the vacation city you are in to grab your credit cards, superseding the purpose of the fanny pack. The guy above doesn't have a chance.

And then around 2011 fanny packs made a comeback into mainstream fashion. Dolce and Gabbana debuted the modern version of the 80's hideous classic in their Fall 2011 show. 

Um, are those socks with heels?

And then of course every fashion house had to jump on this unnecessary bandwagon. 

Hermes 5

Louis Vuitton bum bag Louis Vuitton Bum Bag
Louis Vuitton
I'm sorry, but this is far too reminiscent from the 80s. At least Hermes changed the structure! 

Again, let's at least use some creativity in bringing this back. Take off the Prada logo and it looks like something from Mervyn's.

And then since all the fashion houses were bringing back the style, all the celebrities had to jump on the nefarious bandwagon and sport the awful contraption on their waist.

Rachel Zoe
Yes, stylist extraordinaire has lost credibility for following the masses.

Brooke Shields
Two holders, wow!

Mr. Kim Kardashian
Even Kim wouldn't stoop to wearing one of these!


Rihanna (The repeat offender) and Amber Rose.
Someone please explain to Amber that just because it's Louis Vuitton doesn't know make the furry pillow on your waist a fashion statement. 

Tyra Banks

Despite celebrities following the herd and obeying to the commands of Karl Lagerfeld and the like, fanny packs are just not ok. Even on Rachel Zoe on the red carpet they do not look ok! I shutter to think of the possibility of fanny packs coming back into the mainstream, kiosks of fanny packs at the mall, fanny packs strewn across tween girls in bright colors and glitter and then the Kardashians put out their own line of fanny packs! 

And so as I was consumed with the atrocity of something that is sadly considered chic, and disgusted with how the mainstream quickly jumps on something just because we've been told by someone that we must all wear such a disgusting creation as if we live in some type of fashion dictatorship with Miranda Priestly as our corrupt leader, I found a fanny pack that fannied my attention on Etsy. Hmm, it's kind of cute. I wonder how much it costs? 

Mothers Day Sale - Red Ruffled Canvas Women's Fanny Pack, Hip Bag, Belt pouch, Handbag, Handbag- Kinies Ruffled Waist Purse

Click below for a list of images.
Cosby Show Extras

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