Wednesday, December 18, 2013

RHOBH Season 4: Mid Season Review


Is it just me, or is the animosity and tension of the Beverly Hills gals at an all time high? I think my sister-in-law hit it right on the head when she said that the Housewives franchise has a shelf life, and 90210 just may have come to an end. Think about it, the first year of any Housewives show is always intriguing because it's new women, a new city and lots of camaraderie. They come out of the gates (no pun in tended, OC) attempting to be friends, going together on lavish vacations where they ogle over each others Birkens, small waists and fat bank accounts. And then someone allegedly leaks something to Radar Online and at the reunion lines are divided and the attacks began. And so we see this with Beverly Hills.

Season one of RHOBH was my all time favorite of the entire franchise because it was a true wealth on another level and the women (other than the Camille incident) got along. They were taking private jets to go to Kings games and having over the top dinner parties at the Bravo requisite millionaire Mohammed's house. (How has he yet to make an appearance in the clubhouse, even as the bartender?). And then by season two, lines were divided and it just wasn't fun anymore. The white party went from a joyous night of Fatburger consumption to one of threatened lawsuits and finger wagging. (Remember Kim going off on Brandi in a not so coherent manner?)


So where does that leave us this season? Well, I was ecstatic at the start of the season, but the first couple of episodes have been lackluster at best. The cattiness is  beyond cringe worthy! I'm disgusted at just how incapable these women are of mustering the dignity to carry on a dinner. Of course, they may be going somewhat over the top just for the ratings, but at this point all the bitchiness is just obnoxious. I miss the fun times! I miss the gleeful Fatburger parties! 

Firstly, let's talk about the newcomers, Carlton (Not to be confused with Will's cousin who breaks out in a jig every time Tom Jones is played)  and Jaqueline, oh I mean Joyce. I'll just say it bluntly, I cannot handle Carlton. She obviously came into this show having watched every episode and decided she does not like Kyle and will be besties with Brandi and Yolanda. The reasons why she dislikes Kyle are not reasons at all, she just dislikes her as a person and thus she is merely searching for chichis a la hormiga. And her spray tan is out of control, can someone please have an intervention? (Ted, Marshall, Lilly, Barney, Robin, where are you?) 


Oh, and random Carlton tidbit. If you watch Giuliana and Bill you've probably seen Giuliana's best friend Colette. Well, apparently Colette and Carlton are besties and Carlton hosted Colette's book launch party. Her book is some kind of goth/sci fi hybrid, perfect person to host, no?


And Joyce. (Now, when I pronounce it I make sure to say "horsay, neeiighh." I know, that's mean. She was bullied for that name.) I actually like her. She's the lightness to Carlton's spray tan. She obviously came into the show hoping someone would be her friend, and since Kyle seems to adore her, she's latched on to that friend.  Overall, I'm a fan. Perfect addition to the show, and thankfully Kyle has someone on her side, otherwise the whole ganging up concept is no fun. And who doesn't love a Trump product? (Ms. Puerto Rico, people?)


The Yolanda vs. Kim/Kyle scenario should really be a moot point. I recall a scene in last season's trip to Paris where Kim, Kyle and Yolanda are talking in some store after the duck beheading dinner where Yolanda is telling Kim something along the lines that her true friends will always be there for her, insinuating that Lisa has not even called her this morning. So Yolanda calling Lisa a piece of kaka seems pretty legitimate, I don't believe Kim and Kyle are lying on this one. And Yolanda has even said that with her sickness she often times does not know what she is saying and at the reunion she mentions that when she called Taylor an a$$hole, she wasn't in her right frame of mine, so is she really a credible for source on whether she referred to Lisa as kaka?

And lets talk about Lisa. Her cattiness is at an all time high, she claims she doesn't hold a grunge on Kyle, but her jabs are turning into a full on assault, and  I agree with Kim, she was being dismissive. But to give Lisa credit, I think the faint was real. Fancy, but real. Unlike Joyce, I did see it, so I can comment.


And Brandi! Something needs to change quickly before this show turns into the Brandi show. There's far too much focus on her and her filthy mouth. First season it was funny, second season it was a little annoying, but still funny. Now she's branded herself as Brandi the Big Mouth and her comments have hit an all time low. To use the excuse that you are an honest person and shouldn't have to censor yourself is not an excuse for making an ignorant comment about another race. 


Basically, this season has turned into these women just not liking each other, and everything they say aggravating them even more and thus fueling Kim's awkward torch analogy. The dinner in Palm Springs was just an embarrassment to watch. Brandi intentionally calling Joyce Jaqueline is something the brat on my bus in middle school used to do with the goth girl who sat behind him. (Well, her name wasn't Joyce and he called her Jaqueline, but you get my point.) The shushing each other and telling each other not to interrupt was all underlying tension trying to creep up on to the table that exploded. Unlike what they think, talking everything out will not always resolve everything, and apparently with them it makes things worse.

So unless the tension subsides and the Fatburger fueled white parties come back I'm not watching. Hahah (I jest, I jest), that's not going to happen. Come on, how can I miss Brandi's betrayal of Lisa and her ultimate demise a la Jill Zarin. It's going to happen people, it's going to happen.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Is it Ok to be Dressed Head to Toe in Target?

If you've read my blog, you're well aware that fashion has always been a passion of mine, but I've never been the one to have the confidence nor the willingness to open my pocket book to sport current trends. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not completely donned in sweats, fanny packs and Birkenstocks, I do try to conform to what fashion dictates is acceptable, but not to the point where I'm pulling a Carrie Bradshaw hoe down kind of outfit, I do draw the line somewhere in conformity.

image

I'm much more of an aspiring Charlotte, but rather than wearing designers like Ralph Lauren and Donna Karen, I'm more of the Old Navy version of the classics.

Ralph Lauren

So I suppose that the best way to describe me is Andy Sachs before the Miranda Priestly makeover (Well, let's give credit where credit is due, the Nigel makeover), but with the actual interest of dressing like Runway girls. 


Part of why I do not invest in current trends is because I am a stay at home mommy. Now, much like many a stylist on a makeover show, I know what you are going to stay, just because you stay at home with your children, doesn't give you permission to completely disregard you're appearance (Ahem, Clinton Kelly with your condescending tone!). But unfortunately, if you saw me dropping Sweet Pea off to school, you'd probably submit a photo of me for an episode of What Not to Wear.

To give myself a little bit of credit, part of the reason I don't make efforts is because I live in Texas where summer lasts from April to November, so when it's 100 degrees outside and your lugging your children in and out of car seats in the sweltering heat while wearing skinny jeans a silk blouse and cute sandals (Since it is warm) will leave you with extreme pit stains on your beautiful shirt not to mention sweat on the inside of your jeans. Being fashionable is the last thing I care about when the sun and humidity are pounding down my face. When I'm hot, it's not pretty, lets just say it gets so bad that I just may cut a witch.

Oh, and add on to that where am I going? H-E-B? Gymboree? So I need to be wearing designer duds at parachute time? I'm not going to spend an arm and a leg in order to look put together.


And so these past few months it's been a lot cooler than usual so I decided to go out and make some winter purchases. I started perusing fashion blogs to get an idea of trends since I've become out of sync with what's fashionable ever since my expanding waistline with baby number 1, and I found that lot of blogs out there are buying their staples at JCrew and Anthropologie. I'm not going to spend $200 on a pair of jeans that once April comes around I will put in the back of the closet and it will not come back until December. I kid you not, when I say I'd cut a witch when overheated, I'm not kidding. 

And so I decided to purchase some skinny jeans, leggings and tunics from Old Navy and Target. No, they aren't JCrew, but does that really matter? When I have two children to put through college, I choose not to buy my entire wardrobe at a high end retailer. Don't get me wrong, I think nothing less of those high end retailers, and truly believe that the key to a versatile, trendy wardrobe is mixing price points, but at this point in my life (specifically when I'm not currently bringing in an income), most of my wardrobe comes from the low end of the retail spectrum (Or recycling of clothes that have been in my wardrobe for x years), but I refuse to believe that I can't look cute and put together simply because I'm not buying expensive pieces!

And so I'm going to debunk the societal belief that you are less of a put together person if you are dressed completely from Target (or Old Navy). In fact, I shall start a crusade saying Target is Ok! If Missoni can do a line for Target, why can't it be ok. (Is my point less valid if I don't care for Missoni?)